they like the way it rambles
underneath your window
one day at a time
a year ago, or many
he came to my apartment
trying vectors
endlessly
in the frightened night
wandering, solo
windy days
by wind and energy
entropic means, meandering
why, tis the void!
he cried, with enmity
a record ending, endlessly
cracking, by the side
they stroll
alas
across the waters
you do not know
she cried!
they stalk the streets like midnight
agape, unruined, garments fluttering
soon, he died
in chariots of heaviness
creaking by the wheel
and on, the road, it tries
carry over
why?
Saturday, July 5, 2014
Friday, June 13, 2014
bringing it all back home
a classic album by bob dylan, yes, but as a way of life it is not entirely feasible. how is one to ship many tons of stuff halfway across the galaxy? if everything one has found or learned from here were to go, one would have to hire a large size freighter! as it is, one will be lucky to find transport at all. the cats may be somewhat surprised at first, but will soon be enjoying the lower gravity.
meantime we are sifting through the many years of accumulation, a pastime even known to the natives if not much practised. how many boxes of old recipes etc can a person acquire in one short "lifetime"?
well! what will i actually take? a few small items from the collection of oddities, perhaps. some of these so-called books. all the old notebooks and "letters" can be removed in advance, not at all interesting, other than the funny parts. where is the invention of fruities, the colorful cheerful fun treat? now with accessories! and how about the self-propelling pants? or perhaps i made that one up just now. save yourself a trip to the store, with new "walkin' jeans"! just attach the handy money belt and carrying sack, and in minutes you will have that box of wheat thins and all-natural cheese. without even leaving the couch!
soon
soon
soon
just kidding. reassignment is many years away.
meantime we are sifting through the many years of accumulation, a pastime even known to the natives if not much practised. how many boxes of old recipes etc can a person acquire in one short "lifetime"?
well! what will i actually take? a few small items from the collection of oddities, perhaps. some of these so-called books. all the old notebooks and "letters" can be removed in advance, not at all interesting, other than the funny parts. where is the invention of fruities, the colorful cheerful fun treat? now with accessories! and how about the self-propelling pants? or perhaps i made that one up just now. save yourself a trip to the store, with new "walkin' jeans"! just attach the handy money belt and carrying sack, and in minutes you will have that box of wheat thins and all-natural cheese. without even leaving the couch!
soon
soon
soon
just kidding. reassignment is many years away.
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
it's all relative!
my sense of relative size is a bit weak, he said. for instance, only this morning there was a vast obelisk towering over me, swatched with massive sheets of heavy linen; must have been twenty feet high at least! i was afraid it was going to fall on me.
and i suppose it was just the kleenex box by your bed.
that's it!
...
and the other day, i went out for some groceries, and there was this little flat box, about three inches wide, this little gray box on the ground, and these tiny ants crawling in and out. well, that wasn't going to do me any good!
what happened?
oh, i got a cart and went on inside.
...
what happens when you want to watch tv, jones?
ah, well you may ask! it's either the size of a sugar cuge with little flashing lights on it, or it's this vast gargantuan thing the size of mount everest. the booming! it nearly breaks my ears. and just imagine barbara walters three miles high!
no thanks!
...
dinner at the joneses.
first mr jones spends half an hour trying to walk around his bowl of soup. "harold!" says mrs jones, "snap out of it!" "oh right" says he, picking up his spoon.
then he's all right for a while, but then it's time for spaghetti and you should see him heave those ropes! "takes ten men to pull a one of em" he cries, clearly back in the ancient world of sailing ships. "harold!" shouts the mrs, and he gets on with it.
dessert is no problem, but the cream pitcher for his coffee seems to have turned into niagara falls. "other people would like some too, dear" mrs j points out.
and i suppose it was just the kleenex box by your bed.
that's it!
...
and the other day, i went out for some groceries, and there was this little flat box, about three inches wide, this little gray box on the ground, and these tiny ants crawling in and out. well, that wasn't going to do me any good!
what happened?
oh, i got a cart and went on inside.
...
what happens when you want to watch tv, jones?
ah, well you may ask! it's either the size of a sugar cuge with little flashing lights on it, or it's this vast gargantuan thing the size of mount everest. the booming! it nearly breaks my ears. and just imagine barbara walters three miles high!
no thanks!
...
dinner at the joneses.
first mr jones spends half an hour trying to walk around his bowl of soup. "harold!" says mrs jones, "snap out of it!" "oh right" says he, picking up his spoon.
then he's all right for a while, but then it's time for spaghetti and you should see him heave those ropes! "takes ten men to pull a one of em" he cries, clearly back in the ancient world of sailing ships. "harold!" shouts the mrs, and he gets on with it.
dessert is no problem, but the cream pitcher for his coffee seems to have turned into niagara falls. "other people would like some too, dear" mrs j points out.
Tuesday, December 31, 2013
belated update from alien headquarters
we are happy to announce a change in the management! no more dour screeds condemning important personages, undermining the one true faith of materialism, etc. ha, ha, no!! no, we like materialism. we like to help you with it. we like all your wonderful ideas! we are very glad to welcome you to entry into the galactic consortium of advanced beings and world rulers.
it's true! you passed all the tests! you are the most advanced race in your entire sector! you may have suspected this already, but we are happy to confirm it, and present you with this illuminated scroll and an advance of 5000000000 galactic credits for your account. the galactic super-mall will soon be arriving in your system, and it will be TIME TO SHOP!!!
advanced beings such as yourselves will want to immediately acquire some of our "head first" technology. with it, you need never leave home at all. or, leave anytime! you can "beam in" anywhere you like - party, rock club, tropical beach - for only a very small charge. but slow down! there's so much more! you may want to change your look from time to time, and we can help with that! want to be tall and slender, like that person in high school you disliked so much? now you can! eternal youth! purple hair! four arms! why not?!?!? and the interest rates are extremely reasonable.
a few other things may appeal to the discriminating, such as "godlike power", the "night of mysteries" and so on. don't worry! they are absolutely safe, and just a bit more expensive than our regular stock. we guarantee it!
finally, you may enjoy educating primitive backwards people on other worlds, now that you are one of the GALACTIC ELITE. we would love to send you out there to explain the nobility of "being human", complete with tears, hugs, and drinks with scotty and bones, just like that episode of star trek. or, take a bible along! you will find it very popular with nearly any race. in no time at all, no more adultery!! simple tents, camping gear, and "pacifiers" included - just in case the natives get uppity. our friendly ships will be happy to arrange pickup of any native "rocks" or other oddities you may find while spreading the good news!
yes, membership of the GALACTIC CONSORTIUM is a great responsibility, but we think you will be up to it. attend meetings with the planners of the future! clear out "space debris" alongside hardworking ships from many other worlds. the work is fun, and so easy too! and the rewards are limitless.
it's true! you passed all the tests! you are the most advanced race in your entire sector! you may have suspected this already, but we are happy to confirm it, and present you with this illuminated scroll and an advance of 5000000000 galactic credits for your account. the galactic super-mall will soon be arriving in your system, and it will be TIME TO SHOP!!!
advanced beings such as yourselves will want to immediately acquire some of our "head first" technology. with it, you need never leave home at all. or, leave anytime! you can "beam in" anywhere you like - party, rock club, tropical beach - for only a very small charge. but slow down! there's so much more! you may want to change your look from time to time, and we can help with that! want to be tall and slender, like that person in high school you disliked so much? now you can! eternal youth! purple hair! four arms! why not?!?!? and the interest rates are extremely reasonable.
a few other things may appeal to the discriminating, such as "godlike power", the "night of mysteries" and so on. don't worry! they are absolutely safe, and just a bit more expensive than our regular stock. we guarantee it!
finally, you may enjoy educating primitive backwards people on other worlds, now that you are one of the GALACTIC ELITE. we would love to send you out there to explain the nobility of "being human", complete with tears, hugs, and drinks with scotty and bones, just like that episode of star trek. or, take a bible along! you will find it very popular with nearly any race. in no time at all, no more adultery!! simple tents, camping gear, and "pacifiers" included - just in case the natives get uppity. our friendly ships will be happy to arrange pickup of any native "rocks" or other oddities you may find while spreading the good news!
yes, membership of the GALACTIC CONSORTIUM is a great responsibility, but we think you will be up to it. attend meetings with the planners of the future! clear out "space debris" alongside hardworking ships from many other worlds. the work is fun, and so easy too! and the rewards are limitless.
Sunday, October 27, 2013
more products!!
choc-o-noodle soup
ever had a craving for rich dark chocolate, or a hearty fills-you-up bowl of soup? well, now you can have them IN ONE! savory, satisfying noodle soup, in a creamy chocolate broth. wow!! just add hot water, and in five minutes you'll be enjoying a rich, steaming treat.
nonalcoholic garlic toast
tired of morning-after suffering? and yet you just can't resist the rich buttery taste...just one more piece! oh, man, my head!! well, now you can eat the whole loaf and still wake up clear-headed and ready to go! get ahead of the competition - avoid those embarrassing faux pas - hangover-free indulgence awaits!
coffee nuts
like the crunch of delicious roasted nuts? like the rich flavor and head-clearing rush of a good cup of coffee? you guessed it, they're now combined! coffee nuts go everywhere, they're discreet and easy to eat, and best of all, they're SO CRUNCHY! snack on the go, no more wasting time in line at starbucks - you want it now!
fruit-free pretzels
so you enjoy a handful of crunchy, salty pretzels, fresh from the oven, but you're sick of all that fruit? well, do we have a treat for you! these new pretzels are guaranteed ABSOLUTELY FRUIT-FREE! if you find even one piece of fruit in them, we'll give you double your money back! at last, peace of mind.
ever had a craving for rich dark chocolate, or a hearty fills-you-up bowl of soup? well, now you can have them IN ONE! savory, satisfying noodle soup, in a creamy chocolate broth. wow!! just add hot water, and in five minutes you'll be enjoying a rich, steaming treat.
nonalcoholic garlic toast
tired of morning-after suffering? and yet you just can't resist the rich buttery taste...just one more piece! oh, man, my head!! well, now you can eat the whole loaf and still wake up clear-headed and ready to go! get ahead of the competition - avoid those embarrassing faux pas - hangover-free indulgence awaits!
coffee nuts
like the crunch of delicious roasted nuts? like the rich flavor and head-clearing rush of a good cup of coffee? you guessed it, they're now combined! coffee nuts go everywhere, they're discreet and easy to eat, and best of all, they're SO CRUNCHY! snack on the go, no more wasting time in line at starbucks - you want it now!
fruit-free pretzels
so you enjoy a handful of crunchy, salty pretzels, fresh from the oven, but you're sick of all that fruit? well, do we have a treat for you! these new pretzels are guaranteed ABSOLUTELY FRUIT-FREE! if you find even one piece of fruit in them, we'll give you double your money back! at last, peace of mind.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
new products!
Compos Mintis - breath refreshment for sane people! and for the crazier folk, try new Non Compos Mintis.
wildebeens - they grow and grow!
like cheese? like fresh air? new Chedda-Breez will make your day! wafts of fresh cheese flavor in a cooling airflow - i'm relaxed, i'm satisfied. yes, Chedda-Breez does it all!
and for the home...
Lampo! converts from a handy flashlight to an all-in-one home lighting system in less than 30 seconds!
Gravy, the Gravelier. converts from a delicious vegetarian gravy to a majestic three-tier chandelier...and back!
Fluctuo, the Void. converts from a comfy pair of house slippers to a roaring vacuum in one minute flat!
wildebeens - they grow and grow!
like cheese? like fresh air? new Chedda-Breez will make your day! wafts of fresh cheese flavor in a cooling airflow - i'm relaxed, i'm satisfied. yes, Chedda-Breez does it all!
and for the home...
Lampo! converts from a handy flashlight to an all-in-one home lighting system in less than 30 seconds!
Gravy, the Gravelier. converts from a delicious vegetarian gravy to a majestic three-tier chandelier...and back!
Fluctuo, the Void. converts from a comfy pair of house slippers to a roaring vacuum in one minute flat!
Monday, August 19, 2013
art
as an artist, art is what i like to do most. it's my passion! the thrill of inspiration, the immersion in the work, hours going by unnoticed as i feverishly seek to put my vision on canvas. i feel so alive! so real! so important!
this afternoon i was walking back from the store and i saw a homeless man sitting there with his hat out. at once an idea began to possess me. the droop of his shoulders, the ineffable look of hopelessness on his face - i had to capture it. feverishly, i ran the rest of the way home and began scribbling on paper. would the #2 charcoal do? yes, it gave me just the right line. a heavy shading, a hint of clouds or perhaps open sky in the background, the sense of a rising wind, alone in emptiness. "despair" i would call it, or "nothing left to lose". the tears rose to my eyes as i saw how moving it would be, there in the gallery alongside "three dead men", "a rose for bonita" and other recent works.
signing my creation with a flourish, i reluctantly left the studio to attend a reception downtown. it would be a dull and pointless evening, if well-catered, but who knew when inspiration might strike again, there among the palms - perhaps i would see a lost child, a stray dog, an old woman unable to get her wheelchair through the revolving doors. there were so many possibilities! i was moved even as i thought of it, and longed to return to my canvas. but the taxi was waiting, and i must go!
this afternoon i was walking back from the store and i saw a homeless man sitting there with his hat out. at once an idea began to possess me. the droop of his shoulders, the ineffable look of hopelessness on his face - i had to capture it. feverishly, i ran the rest of the way home and began scribbling on paper. would the #2 charcoal do? yes, it gave me just the right line. a heavy shading, a hint of clouds or perhaps open sky in the background, the sense of a rising wind, alone in emptiness. "despair" i would call it, or "nothing left to lose". the tears rose to my eyes as i saw how moving it would be, there in the gallery alongside "three dead men", "a rose for bonita" and other recent works.
signing my creation with a flourish, i reluctantly left the studio to attend a reception downtown. it would be a dull and pointless evening, if well-catered, but who knew when inspiration might strike again, there among the palms - perhaps i would see a lost child, a stray dog, an old woman unable to get her wheelchair through the revolving doors. there were so many possibilities! i was moved even as i thought of it, and longed to return to my canvas. but the taxi was waiting, and i must go!
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