Sunday, July 26, 2015

midsummer marketing

envelopes a la mode
the finest parchment, with double seal and optional monogram. all covered in rich vanilla ice cream!

cheeseburger history
a concise description of western europe between 1572 and 1819, or a delicious fresh burger with three kinds of cheese? you make the call.! (bacon optional.)

gravity-free wall art
love collecting fine art, but tired of having to lug it around? now, moving is a breeze with our gravity-free collection of old masters, impressionists, and more! to install, merely "think" it into place. warning: avoid open windows or the high setting on your central a/c.

optional feet
sick of dirty marks on your rugs, sweaty socks on your nice new coffee table, and all the rest? now, order new optional feet and do away with all that! there when you want them, not when you don't.

it may look like an old cardboard tube, but you wait and see! roll-a-mo can juggle, pet-sit, and do your taxes (1040 A and EZ only). it creates new tv shows! it cleans the shower! it even drives the car! you'll wonder how you ever lived without it! only $9.99 + $5 s/h (within the continental US).