New Products for a New Year!

The Cheese Locker
hands off my cheese!

Flat Feet
for level surfaces

The Aquatic Chandelier
a vast transparent globe houses a wonderland of tropical fish, many of them luminous. auto-home takes care of all the maintenance.

The Super Cheese Magnifier!
well like it says

Back-Nose
for pigs only

Eugenia
a city in Oregonia

Parker Pilgrim
takes the nearest road to canterbury and you never see him again

Odorless Mustard
for stealth snacking

The Flying Coffeepot
never take another step!

All's Well That Ends Well
so they say

all these...and more

when i'm a poet
i want to name flowers
like robert byron
i know a lot of them!

maybe i should name computer accessories instead

if i have a son, i will show him
"burning ROM" by nero
the hewlett packard deskjet 500
ms office 2002, 2005, and 2020

he will wander the valleys of the yellow network cable
ay, and the orange
neatly coiled in yonder drawer
old modems will please him, the supra 2400, yea even the 1200!
that was many years ago

and he will surpass his progenitors
unafraid, he stalks the ways of wifi
a network hub is old hat to him

together, we will go to the coffee shop
in spring, or autumn
when the leaves are red
and will ask for the password
and set up our laptops
and together "surf the web"
he cringes when i say that, you know
nobody says that any more
nobody uses dumb old flip phones

well, excuse me!
he doesn't even get my steve martin imitation
but while he is young, i shall show him
monty python
and the carol burnett show

all these i learnt as a child (sic)
they recall a time, or a place
probably the daybed in my mother's livingroom
with the small portable tv
or possibly some "con" i attended much later on
the child cringes again
how could you?
boy, you got to take it where you can find it
at least i don't spend all day in video arcades
well duh, neither do i
that is so 80s
well, excuse me!