Tonight, the results of the long awaited PRIZE DRAWING for the local Centauri cluster!
First, Moxx Wotten of Proxima Centauri III has won the FlashTost Mega antimatter toaster! Yes, toast in a flash can be yours, Moxx, and you'll never need a new battery! Guaranteed for 50,000,000 years.
Nest up, we have...Zork Murimine of Barnard's Star planet six. Zork, you've won the your very own PERPETUAL MOTION MACHINE! Amaze your friends and neighbprs as they watch the Mini PerpMo spin and spin...no batteries required! Take it on a hike! Leave it to your grandchildren! Guaranteed to go FOREVER, or the heat death of the universe, whichever comes first.
And finally, our grand-prize winner, Elisabeth Perrin of Seattle WA, planet Earth, "Sol" (as the locals know it). Elisabeth, you have won your very own ANTI-GRAVITY MACHINE! If you ever wanted that floating feeling...here it is! With the GravMaster 2200, you can walk up walls, drift 'neath the stars...whatever you like. Sleep on the ceiling! Reconnoitre Mount Everest! With GravMaster 2200, the world is yours!
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