Tuesday, December 20, 2011

random update

does every day seem like more of the same? do you need things like "holidays", weekly tv shows, etc, to give you the illusion that it isn't? oh come on, i just visited the family, got drunk, ate too much, AND watched the perry como christmas special! now THAT doesn't happen every day.

well, yes, but it happens nearly every month. oh clearly it will be the joe jones january bash the next time around, but the general idea remains the same. then back to work, "friends" reruns with the old gang on saturday... maybe you wore your new jeans or had your hair streaked. it's like a whole new you!!

so why this giant bait and switch game anyway? it seems impossible that an intelligent species could really spend all their time worrying about their hair and what's on tv and did you hear jolly's new single "albatross" it has a really rad bass line??? surely there must be something MORE! oh yes you with the genesis box set, yes i know you're completely different, or at any rate 30 years older.

yes, but ARE they an intelligent species?

woah.

perhaps we need to reclassify them. wow. suddenly things fall into place. a sort of clever animal with a lot of manual ability, then? like a monkey that has figured out how to type (heh heh).

in which case he might sound very much like "friends", "sex and the city", etc. oh bloggo i must have sex with you, but first i need some new leaves in my hair! oh zumba yes but your blazing eyes make me require fresh sustenance. is there more of this fermented banana?

yes alas. and when they "get married" the little monkeys will require nose jobs music lessons and all the right accessories. and bloggo will have an "affair" with somebody at the "office", and zumba will console herself with a frienzied round of gathering and self-ornamentation possibly folllowed by heavy flirtations with the fellow who does the music lessons. while little pek and mango look on.

i am so sorry planet earth but you are not ready yet. your high technology and philosophical speculations had us fooled for a while, but alas it could not last. like in any statistical distribution, a few of you show gropings towards something more, but how easily conquered by "sex", banana juice, or the guy next door deciding to repaint his house that annoying shade of blue. small concentrations are luck-based and do not last. the animal returns and takes it over very rapidly (see crusades, the doctrine of predestination, manifest destiny, et al.) you do talk very impressively, that we admit.

perhaps another million years or so? in the meantime you won't mind if we confine you to your solar system, i'm sure. genuine mars rocks in all-platinum frame only $5000! just what your "boyfriend" might like for christmas.

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