Friday, September 10, 2010

social activity

having been informed that friday and saturday evenings must be devoted to social activity, i set forth to comply. firstly, what does this social activity consist of? the answer is vague yet informative. it must involve at least one other person. then i may visit my mother? no, that will not do. that is for sunday. oh. i see.

very well. another person. may i ask this fellow walking by? no, it must be someone you know, or want to know. but i want to know this fellow!

no, i mean, someone you know at work, or a neighbor...

ah, at work. very well, i will ask this fellow at work to engage in social activity.

yes, ask him for a drink. or ask that young lady to dinner.

may i not ask him to dinner? no, i see that is not acceptable. very well. dear fellow, would you like a drink? he agrees, and it proceeds as follows: he consumes several portions of alcoholic substance, and becomes somewhat animated. naturally i am unaffected, and would much prefer plain water or perhaps a pint of corn juice, very good for my inner metabolism. nevertheless i struggle through.

another week arrives. i ask my informant for another suggestion, having lost interest in further mass consumption of psychoactive substances. have you considered a date? says he. a date? well, you take a young lady out to dinner, perhaps to a movie...

and why may i not ask a young man? or an older lady?


i see. it is to do with sexual activity. this i refuse to engage in. it would not be correct to have sexual activity with a native.

oh. right. well, how about a party!

that i could do.

party: a combination of mass consumption of psychoactive substances with preliminaries to sexual activity. not a happy occasion. eventually one found a small group engaged in playing some sort of strategy game involving a board and many small pieces. the social aspect was limited, but it reminded me of treining school. as a bonus i was offered safe corn-based beverages. a partial success.

but have we yet exhausted he possibilities of social activity? for one must be complete.

well, you could take the boss out to dinner...

ah. i could further my ambition by purchasing him a meal! i will do that.

and indeed i made a valiant attempt, but he was not to be purchased so easily. that is a relief.

further combinations are suggested and critiqued, and it does come out that two ladies may attend a meal or event together for non-sexual purposes, as sometimes also two gentlemen, but more rarely. (see item 1.) two gentlemen may also have social activity for purposes of pursuing a common or sporting interest, as may two ladies, but more rarely. a male-female pair may attend or host groupings of such, to further the ambition of one of the pair, or possibly for other reasons. pairs of any sort, sexual and otherwise, may also avoid social activity by staying home, as may single people.

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